The First And The Last Experience – Our Breathing Body
Written by Hilary Brown
The first time I recall challenging my breath was as a child, in the swimming pool. As a kid growing up in California, I spent hours at a time in the pool. One of my games was to do as many somersaults in a row as I could…on one breath! I became pretty good at it too! Now as a yogi I call this activity a form of pranayama: the practice of disciplining the breath. And as I have come to learn, it is through the process of breath control where we learn to free the breath.
I discovered back then, as I know now, one of the most important secrets of this “sport” of holding my breath while turning upside-down...you must relax on the inside. So as I would twirl and twirl many times in a row, the only way to improve and do more was not to work harder, but to use less energy, be efficient, smooth and yes, soften, relax and focus the effort.
Over 50 years later I am still exploring the deep and gratifying wonder called the breath with my primary practice of yoga. Lately I have been experiencing an enormous sense of space inside my body…or perhaps inside my breath body one could say. It's like I have become aware that there are spaces within me I can only reach with my long slow and disciplined breath. Sometimes it feels almost endless and open. And the experience of this space gives me a sense of great peace and satisfaction wherever I am, as long as I pay attention. And relax inside.
Our language references the power and mystery of breath in all we do. The word 'spirit' in our English translations, is from the Latin 'wind, breath' and translates to the Greek 'pne-u'-ma' which literally means 'blow effect, wind, breath, to breath.' By implication like air, spirit is the invisible intangible power of action, intelligence, and life. The word can be used in many diverse applications, as spirit of truth, spirit of error, deceptive spirit, gentle spirit etc.. We often make analogies to breath, life, prana, and how the deep mysteries of life are related to breath.
We recognize the beauty of our lives by the mysterious awakening of a newborn child when she takes her first breath and is all the sudden alive! Equally as mysterious is the uncharted territory of sitting at a loved one's side as they take their last breath and are “gone”. Spirit or breath moving through each living thing is a mystery that never ceases to amaze.
I often ask myself, who is doing this breathing? Am I? Or, am I being breathed? Where does the breath begin within my body, heart, soul? Is there a breath within the breath…can I touch the pulse behind my breath? Equally amazing is the fact that we are told that we also cannot will ourselves to stop breathing…it is impossible. The force of life is too strong and an automatic inhale will be forced upon you should you try to not breath.
Observing one's breath is a beautiful way to participate in the mystery of life moving though you and around you. To practice conscious breathing is to connect to the sensation of flow or the cycle of life without your body. Make sure to pay attention to the silent spaces in-between the inhale and the exhale. It is within these spaces, or pauses where meditation is said to begin, in the stillness of the space between. This and (many other specific practices of breath awareness) is the essence of all contemplative practices and holds the technique and the key to experiencing our lives in the moment, right where life is happening right now. And now. And now.